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It doesn’t matter how many times I hear it. Despite how hard I try to suppress it, when the Tatnall community stands together, as we did this morning, to sing the Tatnall School Song, tears inevitably fill my eyes.

Part of it is the moment itself. Hundreds of voices singing together is enough to get me. But I think what really gets me is knowing that generations of children stood here before us singing this exact same song, and generations will stand here long after my children and I have moved on.

It reminds me of one of the reasons we chose this school in the first place. We wanted our children to belong to something bigger than themselves. They belong to these traditions. They belong to this multigenerational family. They belong to Tatnall, and, perhaps just as importantly, Tatnall belongs to them.

As it turns out, there is actual research behind why that feeling matters so much.

Jennifer Breheny Wallace, author of Never Enough, writes about the importance of both belonging and mattering. Belonging is not simply being included in a group. Children need to believe that they add value to that group, not because of their grades, awards, goals scored, or performances, but because of who they are and what they bring with them: their curiosity, kindness, perseverance, humor, ideas, citizenship, and wonderfully individual selves.

We see that in big moments like Convocation, when students stand on stage and talk about the values and experiences that have shaped their connection to this community. But, more often, I see it in the small moments. I see a child stop to help a friend. I hear students deep in a classroom discussion say, “Remember when you said…” because someone else’s idea stuck with them. I hear, “I’m so glad I get to work with you!” I watch an older student notice a younger child in the grocery store and immediately call their name.

Those little moments quietly tell a child: Your place is here with us. We know you. And this place is better because you are in it.

David Yeager, author of 10 to 25, explains why this becomes especially important as children move toward adolescence. Young people become developmentally attuned to questions of respect, significance, and acceptance within their social world. They are looking for evidence that they matter to the people around them.

As a parent, I am not sure there are many better sights than watching your child run into the arms of a friend who is genuinely thrilled to see them. Or seeing a “big kid” spot your “little kid” across campus, call their name, and pull them into a hug. Except, perhaps, for imagining what that moment feels like to your child: They saw me. They know me. I matter here.

There is one more piece of the research that I love: purpose and belonging strengthen each other. Our children do not only need a community that says, You belong here. They need opportunities to discover, We need you here, too. Maybe that purpose is the fifth grader helping a younger student lead Community Gathering. Maybe it is the child who notices that someone is sitting alone. Maybe it is the idea that changes the direction of a class discussion, carrying on a tradition that began decades before they were born, cheering for a teammate, singing in the concert, helping solve a problem, or simply becoming the friend someone else was hoping to find.

In a world that can feel increasingly fast and disconnected, there is something powerful about belonging to one another, to traditions, and to generations that came before us. It slows us down long enough to recognize a moment for what it really is.

So this morning, I stood among hundreds of children, teachers, and families and tried, once again, not to cry during the School Song.

I failed.

As parents, we don’t want our children simply to attend Tatnall. We want them to grow up knowing that they belong to Tatnall, that their presence makes this community better, and that Tatnall, in some small but meaningful way, will always belong to them too.