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My dad can work “math rules the world” into almost any moment. Negotiating allowance? Math rules the world. Perfect pancake flip? Math rules the world. Last weekend he said it to each of my three kids… twice… and then to me, because fairness.

It’s funny what we carry from our own childhoods into parenting and what we decide to update. I still cheer loudly for math, but I’m not handing out pages and pages of drills. Why the shift? We know more now about how strong math thinkers actually think.

Here’s the short version:

• Kids who soar in math use number sense. They play with numbers, choose strategies, estimate, compare, and explain.
• Kids who struggle often try to remember one “right way” and muscle through even when that way doesn’t fit or might actually be harder.
• And this part matters: research suggests it’s not that lower-achieving students know less math; it’s that they interact with math differently. They lean on memorized procedures instead of flexible, conceptual thinking.

Equally important is mindset. Strong math learners tend to believe their brains can grow with effort, good strategies, and feedback. That’s a growth mindset. It sounds simple, but it changes everything: mistakes are no longer “I’m bad at this”; they’re “My brain’s learning. Let me try another path.”

So how do we raise flexible, growth-minded mathematicians without turning homework time into a hostage situation?

Try these low-lift shifts at home:

• Think out loud: “About how many cups will fill this pitcher?” “Which strategy would you try first?”
• Praise the effort and the strategy: “Your brain is lifting heavy weights right now.”
• Ask for the story, not just the answer: “Walk me through how you got there.”
• Celebrate good thinking, even if the final answer is off. If your child shows their work and it makes sense to them, send it in. Teachers love using real thinking to surface and clear up misconceptions for the whole class.

When your child gets stuck, you can say: “Perfect. That stuck feeling is your brain building new pathways.” (If they roll their eyes, you’re doing it right.) Then try, “What’s another way we could approach it?” or “What part do you know for sure?”

And for the record, wrong answers aren’t a moral failing. They’re data. If your child explains their reasoning with confidence and it’s still not quite there, that’s a win. The class can learn from it, and your child gets to be the brave one who helped everyone else.

And if Grandpa swings by and announces “math rules the world,” feel free to reply, “Yes, and at our house tonight, curiosity does too.”