Home

I know I cannot be the only parent who lives this scene more mornings than I would like to admit: “Alright, we are going to be late. Go get your socks and shoes, coat and backpack… oh, and did you brush your teeth?” Fast forward five minutes and a child gets in the car with morning breath, shoes on the wrong feet, coat half zipped, and no backpack in sight. Cue the parental sigh, followed by a speech that usually starts with, “We go to school every day. You know you need your backpack. And teeth get brushed every. single. day!”

What is going on here? Believe it or not, it may not be sheer defiance. It could be working memory at play. Working memory is the brain’s ability to hold on to information just long enough to complete a task while juggling, updating, and using that information as you go. Think of it as the brain’s Post-it Note. The problem is that Post-it Notes are small, and when too much is written on them, things fall off the list. At home, this explains the socks-without-the-shoes routine. In school, working memory plays an even bigger role.

Take a multi-digit multiplication problem with regrouping. To solve it, students need to:

• Hold on to numbers temporarily, such as remembering that six times seven equals forty two, writing down the two, and keeping the four in mind.
• Regroup by carrying those extra numbers while moving to the next digit.
• Keep track of steps in sequence, moving from ones to tens to hundreds without losing their place.
• Combine partial products, remembering earlier work while adding in the next step.

It is a juggling act, and one dropped ball can throw the whole problem off.

Reading places similar demands. Consider the sentence: Sadie barked furiously as the stranger climbed through the broken window. Without even realizing it, your child’s brain assumes Sadie is a dog, connects the stranger and broken window to picture an intruder, and imagines the stranger entering instead of leaving through that window. All of this happens while holding onto the actual words, weaving them together with prior knowledge, and constructing meaning. That is a lot of brainwork before we even get to the trickiness of language itself.

If your child struggles to follow a list of directions, gets stuck in reading, or breaks down in frustration, working memory may be part of the puzzle. The encouraging news is that research shows working memory improves with practice. Here are a few fun and practical ways you can strengthen it at home (and maybe even save your mornings from backpack battles):

1. Use think-alouds: When you read aloud, pause to share what is happening in your head, how you make inferences, track characters, or connect pronouns to the right person or object.
2. Play memory games: Remember “I went on vacation and I packed an apple”? That is a classic workout for working memory.
3. Read mysteries or books with twists: Stories that require updating predictions as new clues appear are perfect for working memory practice.
4. Practice foundational skills: Automaticity in decoding and math facts frees up working memory for more complex thinking.
5. Provide visual supports: Checklists with pictures and words can be a lifesaver for routines. A morning checklist posted by the door may be just the thing to help the backpack make it to the car.

Parenting is messy, mornings are messy, and yes, sometimes teeth go unbrushed. With a few strategies and a little practice, we can strengthen our children’s working memory so they are better equipped to succeed in school and at home. And who knows, someday we may even make it to school on time with socks, shoes, teeth, and backpacks all accounted for. A parent can dream.