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Last week, I enjoyed chatting with Tatnall families alongside Ms. Meade about writing development. One of my favorite moments during this workshop is when adults pause and really experience how much brainpower it takes to get words on a page, especially when your working memory is maxed out (anyone else still haunted by “A, B, Cs to a beat”?). It’s a great reminder of just how impressive the process of communication really is.

As Lower School admissions season continues, I’ve been thinking more and more about a different, but equally complex, form of communication: spoken language. Specifically, what does it take to become a competent, confident speaker?

Every child who wants to attend Tatnall Lower School meets with me as part of the admissions process. We spend time talking before moving into a few reading and math tasks. Hands down, I learn the most during the conversation part of the visit.

At first glance, it might look like I’m simply getting to know the child, asking what makes them happy, what they’re really good at, and what worries them. But while I’m learning about who they are, I’m also listening to how they speak. I’m tuning in to their articulation, vocabulary, and sentence structure. I’m noticing their prosody (the rhythm and flow of their speech) and their pragmatics (the social use of language, things like taking turns in conversation, using humor, and understanding idioms).

And that got me thinking, what exactly makes the difference between two students’ spoken language skills?

Spoken language competence is a big deal. It’s been described as the filter through which all knowledge flows. So, naturally, I did what any self-respecting love-to-learn nerd would do, I dove headfirst into the research rabbit hole.

Here’s what I found:

Spoken language competence includes several key components:

• Phonological: recognizing and producing the typical sound patterns of your language
• Semantic: understanding word meanings and vocabulary
• Grammar: combining words correctly and appropriately (using inflections like -ed and words like the or to)
• Pragmatics & Conversational Skills: using language in social contexts, including humor, idioms, and knowing how to take turns

Today, let’s focus on grammar, because if we’re still noticing articulation delays in elementary school, we’re reaching out to a speech therapist. And if you’re reading to your child and having regular conversations, you’re already boosting their vocabulary.

But grammar… grammar is trickier. It follows fascinating (and sometimes frustrating) patterns. It is a moving target.

Here are some general trends in early grammar development:

• Before 15–24 months, kids usually speak in single words.
• Between 15–24 months, they start stringing two words together.
• Early sentences are all content words, think “more milk” or “go park” and lack endings like -ing or -ed.
• By age 2 to 3, kids begin using more complete expressions, start adding suffixes, and pick up grammatical helper words like in, on, or my.
• Kids tend to use correct grammar before they understand the rule, and then over apply it (goodbye “ran,” hello “runned”), before swinging back to the correct form.
• While complex sentence structures (questions, negations) are harder, most children show mastery by the end of second grade.

So how do kids actually learn grammar? Theories vary. Some say it’s innate, others say it’s driven by social need, and some believe that observation and gentle corrective feedback play a huge role. I lean into the last theory because it means we can help!

Here’s how:

• Engage your child in meaningful, back-and-forth conversations every day.
• Read “meaty” books with them, stories with rich language or interesting nonfiction that sparks curiosity.
• Talk about what you’re reading, what you’re thinking, and what’s coming next.
• When you hear an error, gently rephrase rather than correct. (“I runned fast!” → “Yes, you ran so fast!”)
• Encourage them to join adult conversations. Family dinner is prime time for language learning.
• And yes, get them off screens and into the world. Real conversations beat video monologues every time.

The big takeaway: children don’t grow as passive participants. Language is a muscle and it needs regular workouts.

So next time you find yourself trapped in a never-ending conversation about Minecraft, or listening to your child explain (in great detail) the plot of a show you didn’t even know existed, take heart. That chatter? It’s gold. They’re learning. They’re growing. They’re building the grammar of greatness.

And when it’s all said and done, you’ve earned yourself a hot beverage and a moment of sweet, sweet peach and quiet. (Yes, “peach.” Because if you’ve ever tried to correct a 4-year-old’s vocabulary, you know that’s exactly what they said, and exactly what you’re getting.)

Hang in there, language coaches… you’ve got this. 🍑📚🧠