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Last weekend, we had one of those weekends. Audrey had performances Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in NJ, about an hour away. Nolan had soccer on Saturday and Sunday in PA. I had Open House and Spring Day here at Tatnall. The icing on the cake was it was also Lyla’s birthday. On Friday morning, I dropped her off to school, somehow remembering the birthday treats. About an hour later, I got a video from a friend of EC’s community gathering singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Lyla. I missed it. I missed my five-year-old’s birthday celebration at school. I felt horrible. I stepped into the conference room and attempted to get myself together before bustling back down the hallway and back to work, barely stitching my heart back together. 

While driving back and forth to NJ all weekend, I found myself listening to one of Taylor Swift’s new songs on repeat: “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart.” The chorus was really sticking with me: 

‘Cause I’m a real tough kid, I can handle my ***

They said, “Babe, you gotta fake it ’til you make it” and I did

Lights, camera, and smile, in stilettos for miles…

Breaking down, I hit the floor

All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, “More”

I was grinning like I’m winning, I was hitting my marks

‘Cause I can do it with a broken heart.”

What!? Taylor was singing right to my exhausted and broken-mom-heart. How often are we running around, barely keeping all the balls in the air? Social media and smiles make it seem like it is so easy for everyone else. It isn’t. Parenting is hard work. Sometimes, we get it perfectly right. We hang onto those moments. We take those pictures. Those memories help us get through the broken-hearted, I-am-so-tired-I-forgot-it-was-my-daughter’s-birthday moments. 

I share this because you are not alone. I am not alone. Taylor is not alone. Life is tough, but it is easier with a village. I was lucky to have a friend who shared that video with me. I am fortunate that Lyla has a head of EC who took the time to reassure me that I wasn’t a horrible mother and that Lyla was very happy walking around with her crown. I am lucky to have Tatnall as part of my village. I feel lucky to have all of you! So… when in doubt, sing it loud: “I’m a real tough kid…”