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It happens in a blink, and you won’t even realize it. It will likely be months later that you realize it; by then, it is far too late to cherish that last moment. The last time you carry your sleeping child from the car to their bed. The last time your child crawls into bed with you in the middle of the night. The last time you read them a story at bedtime. The last time they look at you like you are their best friend (and not a totally uncool mutant). The lasts; they are fleeting. 

Often, those lasts we miss the most are the ones that are the hardest in the moment. Having another little body disrupting your sleep and draping their limbs across you is not fun. It is hard when you have to go to the bathroom after a long car ride to carry a heavy body and all their stuffies into the house and settle them into bed. Reading one more story after a long day of work is exhausting. And I love that Lyla thinks I am her best friend and never wants to leave me, but sometimes, I need some alone time. 

Brené Brown shares research from her book Atlas of the Heart that suggests that “positive emotions wear off quickly. Our emotional systems like newness. They like novelty. They like change. We adapt to positive life circumstances so that before too long, the new car, the new spouse, the new house (I would add the sleeping child in our arms, the book we read for the 1000th time, the “mommyyyyyy, I need you”) — they don’t feel new and exciting anymore. But gratitude makes us appreciate the value of something, and when we appreciate the value of something, we extract more benefits from it; we’re less likely to take it for granted… Gratitude allows us to participate more in life.”

As I am experiencing many lasts for the last time, and many lasts for the first time, I realize that I missed many gratuitous moments. I was tired. I didn’t stop to think about how lucky I am to have this little healthy human who loves me so much. I invite you to take just a small moment in each of those exhausted moments to find something to be grateful for, especially for something that might be a last. 

“Gratitude is an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and others.” ~ Brené Brown